cool
- Save water, drink beer
- Dont drink and drive. You might spill your beer
- Be nice to your children. For they will be choosing your nursing home someday
- You can trust the government, just ask the Indians
- Geniuses are never understood in their own lifetimes
- We came, we saw, we drank beer
- Be back later...my dog ate my car keys....we are hitchhiking to the vets office
- Me breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity
- Work harder: People on welfare depend on you
- Be nice to nerds. Chances are youll end up working for one
- Women/Men are like public toilets, they are either taken or full of shit
- Im only crazy when other people cant stand that Im right
- You can better lose a lover than love a loser
- 3 words to ruin a guys ego..is it in??
- Two wrongs dont make a right, but three rights do make a left
- I cant wait to see how you look when Im naked
- In the event of an emergency landing why do the people in the pamflet look so calm?
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing
- If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried
- If you are drinking to forget, pay in advance
- War does not determine who is right... but who is left
- Next week there cant be any crisis. My schedule is full already
- Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense
- The funny thing about Common sense is that its not very common
- This isnt school! This is Hell with flourecent lighting
- A clean dwelling place is the sign of a disturbed mind
- All generalizations are false
- Be The Change You Wish To See
- Mental Health is overrated
- I like to con and insult people, thats why I chose to become a Consultant
- Whoever said money cant buy happiness, didnt know where to shop
- In the land of the skunks he who has half a nose is king
- If you act crazy all your life, theyll never be able to commit you
- Youll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!
- Divorce: from the Latin word meaning to rip a mans heart out through his wallet
- Statistics are used by people who have no proof
- Panties arent a mans best friend, but they are next to it
- Oh my god, you killed Kenny!
- Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children
- I dont have to be careful, Ive got a gun
Next page