cool
- War does not determine who is right... but who is left
- Next week there cant be any crisis. My schedule is full already
- Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense
- The funny thing about Common sense is that its not very common
- This isnt school! This is Hell with flourecent lighting
- A clean dwelling place is the sign of a disturbed mind
- All generalizations are false
- Be The Change You Wish To See
- Mental Health is overrated
- I like to con and insult people, thats why I chose to become a Consultant
- Whoever said money cant buy happiness, didnt know where to shop
- In the land of the skunks he who has half a nose is king
- If you act crazy all your life, theyll never be able to commit you
- Youll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!
- Divorce: from the Latin word meaning to rip a mans heart out through his wallet
- Statistics are used by people who have no proof
- Panties arent a mans best friend, but they are next to it
- Oh my god, you killed Kenny!
- Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children
- I dont have to be careful, Ive got a gun
- If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws
- Of all the things Ive lost, I miss my mind the most
- Sometimes I wish I were you, just so I could be friends with me
- Opinions are like assholes... Everyones got one, and they stink
- Smile, it makes people wonder what youre up too..
- What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?
- Women/Men who seek to be equal with men/women lack ambition
- Time is what keeps things from happening all at once
- Politicians prefer unarmed peasants
- Eat healthy, exercise more, still die
- Im not suffering from insanity, Im enjoying every minute of it
- Dont judge a man by his boxers, its whats inside that counts
- Buy land, they have quit making it!
- Im not an alcoholic. I am a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings
- There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise
- The easiest way to avoid a hangover is to just stay drunk
- Gravity always wins
- When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose?
- Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question
- I love work it fascinates me I can sit and watch it for hours
- I avoid temptation unless I cant resist it
- WaNnA PLaY ArMy?? ... Ok! SiT BaCk AnD iLL BLoW ThE HeLL OuT oF YoU!
- To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all lifes problems
- When Im good Im very good but when Im bad Im better
- Im more drunk than a three-legged chicken on a wet patch of ice!
- Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone
- Alcohol doesnt solve any problems, but milk do?
- If it is tourist season, why cant we shoot them?
- I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
- Trying is the first step towards failure
- Lifes a beach... Surf it up!
- Not me, not now, maybe later...
- I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?
- What is arrogance? Thinking you can compete with me!
- When life hands you a lemon, break out the tequila and the salt!
- Intelligence could be instinct which has it at the wrong end
- How to get an dino from the water? Wet!
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