cool

  • If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws
  • Of all the things Ive lost, I miss my mind the most
  • Sometimes I wish I were you, just so I could be friends with me
  • Opinions are like assholes... Everyones got one, and they stink
  • Smile, it makes people wonder what youre up too..
  • What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?
  • Women/Men who seek to be equal with men/women lack ambition
  • Time is what keeps things from happening all at once
  • Politicians prefer unarmed peasants
  • Eat healthy, exercise more, still die
  • Im not suffering from insanity, Im enjoying every minute of it
  • Dont judge a man by his boxers, its whats inside that counts
  • Buy land, they have quit making it!
  • Im not an alcoholic. I am a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings
  • There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise
  • The easiest way to avoid a hangover is to just stay drunk
  • Gravity always wins
  • When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose?
  • Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
  • There are no stupid questions, just stupid people
  • Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  • Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question
  • I love work it fascinates me I can sit and watch it for hours
  • I avoid temptation unless I cant resist it
  • WaNnA PLaY ArMy?? ... Ok! SiT BaCk AnD iLL BLoW ThE HeLL OuT oF YoU!
  • To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all lifes problems
  • When Im good Im very good but when Im bad Im better
  • Im more drunk than a three-legged chicken on a wet patch of ice!
  • Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone
  • Alcohol doesnt solve any problems, but milk do?
  • If it is tourist season, why cant we shoot them?
  • I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
  • Trying is the first step towards failure
  • Lifes a beach... Surf it up!
  • Not me, not now, maybe later...
  • I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?
  • What is arrogance? Thinking you can compete with me!
  • When life hands you a lemon, break out the tequila and the salt!
  • Intelligence could be instinct which has it at the wrong end
  • How to get an dino from the water? Wet!
  • How do you call the end of a shoe-lace? Exactly!
  • Im blonde, but I aint stupid
  • Homework? Do I pay school money to work at home!?
  • How to keep an idiot busy for about 5 seconds? Well, like this!
  • How pretty I am? Pretty cool!
  • Is a full harddisk lighter than an empty one?
  • You can always call me (70 cents p/m)
  • You are a walking fishbowl, I see right through you
  • Gils are pretty, girls are smart. Boys are smarter and got a big heart!
  • Boys are smart, boys are brave. Girls are smarter and behave!
  • Sparkle your MSN, add me!
  • Hey Im not the bitch/ahole, I am THE bitch/ahole!
  • Hopelessly devoted to you!
  • You are a star, fall for me!
  • Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live
  • If I aint g0t j0ee babY!
  • Badgirl/Badboy with good intentions
  • If I didnt have you, you didnt have me
  • If Italians taste as good as their icecream, i want two!


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