funny msn nicknames

  • Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss
  • Dont be open-minded, your brains might fall out
  • Why doesnt the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
  • Anarchists of the world, unite!
  • A miserable person is one who truly enjoys a fart but cant
  • An unfortunate person is one tries to fart but shits instead
  • My life is like a porno-movie, without the sex
  • I drink to make other people interesting
  • God bless Atheism
  • Lower the age of puberty!
  • Booze is the answer. I dont remember the question
  • Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
  • Superman is a travestite
  • Drinking is the answer, I dont remember the question
  • All racists who are prepared to die for their country, why not now?
  • You dont buy the drink here, you only rent it
  • Why dont sheep shrink when it rains?
  • I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants
  • I would tell ya to go to hell but all dogs go to heaven
  • You and the bank own a very lovely home
  • I wear the pants in this house. My wife just tells me which pair to wear
  • If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten
  • Fat Girls are like Mopeds: fun to ride, but you dont want your friends to catch you
  • If one synchronized swimmer drowns, does that mean they all have to?
  • Fat people are harder to kidnap
  • If guys had their period, theyd probably brag about the size of our tampons
  • Virginity is like a bubble... One tiny prick and its gone
  • I dont know if Im a player. Ask one of my girlfriends
  • Im not a dumb blonde! Im knot! Im knot! Im knot!
  • Why is it that the most unattractive people in this world insist on being nudists?
  • Whos cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have a s isnt it?
  • A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings
  • Haggis is a self cleaning meal. Leave it for a while and it will get up and walk away
  • Whoever said nothings impossible never tried to slam a revolving door
  • I love deadlines, especially the whooshing sound they make as they go by
  • I dont hate you, I just need someone to take my anger out on
  • Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised
  • Men are like roses, you got to watch out for all the pricks
  • An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire hius work
  • If my car was a horse, I would have to shoot it!
  • After working here, I now realize that Dilbert is not a comic strip. Its a documentary
  • Be a Minimalist. Its the least you can do
  • If you dont like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk
  • Time flies like the wind; fruit flies like bananas
  • Oh man this is crazy, I hope I didnt brain my damage
  • Only in America do they buy a double cheese burger, large fries and a DIET COKE
  • Earth first. Well screw up the other planets later
  • The only reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live
  • I like my steak so rare that when you poke it, it still says mooooo
  • Everyone likes a little ass, but no one likes a smart ass
  • Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls
  • Impotence: Natures way of saying no hard feelings
  • Beer: helping ugly people get laid since 1823
  • What do they call Bush his zipper? The U.S. Open
  • The height of laziness is a man is shitting on the beach and waiting for the tide
  • When it comes to baldness, its not about losing more hair, its about getting more head
  • Next time wave all your fingers at me!
  • Passwords are like underwear: change them often
  • We dont have a town drunk. We all share the responsibilty
  • We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture
  • Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife
  • I cant come tonight, my tires got dizzy...
  • I invented the cordless extension cord
  • Im moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...
  • The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with
  • I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own
  • I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup
  • I must confess, I was born at a very early age
  • Marry me and Ill never look at another horse!
  • I dont like to repeat things, so listen carefully the first six times
  • Wed better get outta here, I think I hear one of those silent alarms
  • They speak of my drinking but they never consider my thirst
  • It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man
  • Ass, Grass, or Gas: everybodys gotta pay
  • Never do anything that you wouldnt want to explain to the paramedics
  • Stupid statistics cost american companies 30 zillion dollars each year
  • Moblie phones are the only subject on which men boast about whos got the smallest
  • I never appoligize! Im sorry, thats just not the way I am
  • Behind every great woman, is a guy looking at her ass
  • She got her good looks from her father. Hes a plastic surgeon


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